I’ve been having back pain which I’ve been seeing someone about. My consultant told me “you’re never allowed to sit on a sofa again.”
“But I have lumbar support!”
“Your sofa makes your core lazy”
Whatever. What does he know.
Because of that, I thought ——— thought ——— it would be a good idea to get one of those large exercise balls that you see pregnant woman sitting on. That’s supposed to help strengthen your core.
I went online.
Spent about an hour deciding whether I wanted grey ….. coz it goes with the living room …. or if should be rebellious and go for my favourite colour …. purple.
I went with being rebellious.
I was proud I’d made a good decision.
Then I told my husband I’d bought a ball.
He lovingly said “oh great, did you go for grey coz it’ll match the living room!”
So of course I went into panic mode (otherwise known as DQ (drama queen) … went back to my order and hovered over the “cancel order” button.
I was being rebellious.
That’s never got me in trouble before.
Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com
So I got my Rebel Purple Ball in the mail.
It came with a really helpful … child size … plastic foot pump.
There was no way I was gonna pump that up.
I wasn’t even going to pretend!
He’s into cycling.
He owns a bicycle pump.
I asked (made) him do it.
Thank you husband
(Note to Rebel Purple Ball manufacturer —- electric pump!)
Eventually … Rebel Purple Ball was ready.
I wasn’t about to sit on it first to test its “anti burst” function.
Besides – I have core issues!
Not that kind. The core BODY kind thank you very much!
Now. Where was I.
Ah. Enter husband.
So he plopped down on it and it was fine.
Almost looked like fun.
Thought I’d give it a try.
I sat down. Slowly. Working my thigh muscles at the same time. While obviously holding my husbands hands so he could catch me when I inevitably fell off it.
These things happen to me. (Have you read any of my blogs yet?!?!)
Case in point below. ⇓
Just a few days before I’d been visiting with friends. We sat very happily on the deck all afternoon visiting which included a delicious BBQ (or braai as it’s called in my home land).
I only had one cider so unfortunately, what happened next, I can’t even blame on alcohol.
We were about to leave. And said friend wanted to get a pic of all of us. We had to step down two steps into the garden.
Just two steps!
It may as well have been an abyss I was stepping into.
My ankle gave way.
I fell flat on my face.
I may have bounced before I settled on the grass.
I felt my ankle go.
I lay there on the cold grass for what seemed like 10 minutes.
I believe it was a matter of seconds
In my head I thought “it’s gone. It’s broken. My foot is lying next to my ankle.”
It was “fine”.
It wasn’t bruised – that came a few days later.
It wasn’t broken – although it felt like that.
And my foot was not lying next to me ankle.
I got up. Took the photo. Said our goodbyes.
And left. Ankle where it’s supposed to be.
So these things do happen to me.
But I digress.
Back to Rebel Purple Ball.
So not only do I have a little back issue. I also have an ankle that I can’t put much weight on (the bruising and swelling had developed by this point)
I was pretty good on the whole. Using my core to sit up instead of my back.
Then I thought … as I often do …. I could do a sit-up on the ball .. like you see on those fitness videos.
I should have stopped at the thought.
Still holding hubby’s hands, I rolled myself down and tried to do a sit up.
Turns out you not only need core muscles to so a sit up. You also need a functioning ankle to push onto the floor to get you up. (Well I did anyway)
I panicked. Again. DQ.
And shouted for hubby to help me up. Which he did.
All was well with the world.
Cue next day.
At home alone.
Being a good girl and listening to my consultants instructions to sit on the Rebel Purple Ball and work those core issues out … I plopped myself down, carefully making sure the Rebel Purple Ball was close enough to the sofa that should I fall backwards I won’t smash my head into the TV or the side cabinet.
I continued to do the core “stuff”.
I was very proud of myself.
It was a good little workout. (Stay with me)
And then I tried to get up.
I forgot the ball has a surface that basically sticks for the floor and prevents me from simply pushing it forward or back due to the Rebel Purple Ball’s surface!
I tried to get up.
Lost my balance.
Fell backwards onto the ball.
(Score 1 point for antiburst being a real thing)
And fell between the sofa and the Rebel Purple Ball.
With my legs still up over the ball.
My butt on the floor.
My arms somewhere in between.
I was in a V-shape.
I couldn’t kick the ball away due to the balls “refuse-to-move” surface.
I couldn’t get my legs down coz my leggings were stuck to the “refuse-to-move” surface.
I threw myself to the right (it was hardly throwing — I kinda shuffled as best I could), careful to not thrown my back out, and managed to get my left leg down on the floor.
The leg with the twisted ankle.
Left leg with twisted ankle on the right side of Rebel Purple Ball trying to push said ball away.
Right leg up on Rebel Purple Ball trying to push said ball away.
Butt on the floor between Rebel Purple Ball and sofa.
Arms flailing about to try get Rebel Purple Ball away from me.
Head facing the ground.
Hair all over face.
This is my life.
After laughing at myself and realising this is a GREAT story — if I ever get survived it, I managed to get up.
Ankle was fine.
Back was fine.
Thanks for asking.
This wouldn’t have happened if I got the grey ball.