This morning, I started my day ducking and diving.
Why? You ask.
From what? You ask.
Well, I’ll tell you, I shall!
Yes. That’s what I said. Nails!
No, No. Not the DIY kind.
The kind on you fingers…..and toes …… I guess … But I wasn’t dodging the toe ones – it was the finger ones! (Thank Goodness!)
Now perhaps that doesn’t sound strange to you.
You’re probably the ‘Offending Person’ I’m referring to!
For me. It. Was. Strange.
I was on the train on my way to work.
Now call me crazy ….
Let me rephrase … Now call me crazy….
Yes … I’m waiting for you to actually call me crazy …
I’ll wait ….
Anyway … where was I?
Right … Call me crazy….. (oh never mind – you’re really not getting this game are you?) but …surely a packed, rush hour train is not the best place to be chopping away at your fingernails!
A million things could go wrong.
I’ll list two (for lack of thinking of real things)
1. That old saying that every child on this planet has heard at some stage in their lives – “you could take someone’s eye out with that!” is literally true in this case.
Imagine the conversation …. “how did you lose your eye?” “Oh this woman was giving herself a manicure … on the train. She lost her footing and BOOM … she took my eye out with flying nail shrapnel……true story!!”
2. The constant stop start of the train is likely to leave said nail chopper with sharp edges!
… Which .. In all reality … Could also take someone’s eye out!
I sound like my mother!
Well, I was so disgusted, I did what every one of you would do.
I marched right up to the Cutting-Nail-Offender and gave her hell!
Wrong. (Well … In my head I did — That counts right?)
I glared at her through my low slung eyes. Growled a little. Huffed a lot.
And turned on my heels (well – technically there was no heel – they were flat pumps) and marched right out of that train!
That’ll teach her!