Middle Seat Syndrome…Or Get Out And Walk


 

So, I travel a fair bit more than most for work.

I’m not bragging. I just do.

And I’m one of those people that will get to the airport MORE two hours before a short haul flight and MORE than three hours before a long haul.

I don’t know why. I just prefer it.

I will also be sitting at my computer waiting for the check-in time to open 24 hours before my flight.

Trust me. When they say it opens 24 hours before flight departure, they mean it. Not even one second before!

And I check-in early for one reason only.

To. Get. A. Window. Seat.

I am actually one of those people who will continuously look out the window during the flight. What’s the point of sitting at the window if you aren’t going to look out of it.

Right?

Yes, even on overnight flights. Doesn’t even matter that I can’t see anything in the big, dark abyss outside.

So anyway, my latest flight – I was running late (totally unusual for me) to get on the train to get to work so I could put my computer on and check-in, and I got to check-in online 5 minutes after check-in opened. (yes – that was far too many “check-ins” in one sentence – thanks for pointing it out – GrammarPolice!)

How bad can 5-minutes after check-in opens be, right?

Not that bad?

Wrong!

It was bad!

It was very, very bad!

There were only middle seats available.

Middle. Seats!!

Who are these people that are sitting at their computer’s at exactly check-in time, picking their seats!!

I hate middle seats.

Middle seats are made for children under the age of 5.

Middle Seat Problem Number 1:
You (or maybe just me) always ends up sitting in between two business-men who insist on reading the Financial Times double-spreads.

They don’t care that their newspaper takes over part of my seat.

Middle Seat Problem Number 2:
If you thought you were going to get a chance to actually put your elbows on either one of the two armrests, you had best think again!

They don’t care that they are stealing your armrest (yes I said MINE)

It’s like the people on the window seat and the aisle seat think that your arm is actually the arm rest and will continue to put their arm on YOUR arm – yes – not even on the armrest – until you get so fed up that you huff and fold your arms. They then shimmer with a winner’s glow and plonk their arm down on your armrest!

Which would be fine on any short-haul 40minute flight. When you have a 12-hour flight – crossed arms leads to crazy arms.

You know what I’m talking about, right? Crazy arms – they get pins and needles, you lose feeling in them due to lack of blood flow. And when you eventually do get up to escape the madness of the armrest-stealing-paper-reading-seat-thieving people next to you, and try to use your arms, you end up smacking one of them in the face because you have no control of your arms anymore!

I cannot tell a lie – I enjoy that part.

Obviously I survived the flight. Even though I had to curl up into the foetal position to avoid the armrest-stealing-paper-reading-seat-thieving people. I knew I would have the chance to try get a window seat on the flight back.

I made sure I was at a computer, ready to choose my esteemed window seat at exactly 24hours before my return flight.

I managed to get myself a window seat.

You’re pleased for me. I can tell!

I could finally get my own back on the armrest-stealing-paper-reading-seat-thieving people.

I boarded the flight.

Belted myself in.

………

And fell asleep immediately.

I didn’t even see the take-off!

That’ll teach them!

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3 thoughts on “Middle Seat Syndrome…Or Get Out And Walk

  1. Jo(ke) February 27, 2012 / 3:17 pm

    Hahaha so true. I hate the middle seat too!

  2. Gavin Mather March 7, 2012 / 9:50 pm

    I LOVE your sense of Humor my Daughter – You remind me of ……me… Ha…Ha ;-))

  3. Andrea Muzzell April 12, 2012 / 12:12 pm

    So true, so briliant!! 🙂

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