Wrong Turn … Or Where The Hell Am I?



That moment when you realise you’re on the wrong train.

Going in the wrong direction.

Far. Far. Far. Away. From. Where. You. Need. To. Be.

Don’t laugh! I know you’ve all been there at some point in your life.

Maybe not always on a train.
(Perhaps it was in the car. I’m the first to admit I’ve done that. On numerous occasions! Even with the SatNav!)
Okay, so I wasn’t that far wrong on the train. It was only out of my way by 30minutes.

But when you’re at the wrong end of where you want to be, it really doesn’t matter if you’re five minutes wrong or five hours wrong.

You’re still wrong!

And my book is finished.
I may actually be forced to speak to someone on the train! Shock. Horror.

It reminds me of the time when …..

……..

Dammit … I’ve missed my stop again ….

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Writer’s Blog … Or … Now What Was I Going To Say?


 

There must be a pill I can take for this.

At least – I’m hoping so.

A bit like when you put the dishcloth in the fridge.

Or the butter in the dishwasher.

Neither of which I’ve ever done!

Obviously.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had “Writer’s Blog” (thanks Brother)!

No, not “block” – I’m not writing a novel here you know, although …. mmmm …. That’s a great idea!!

Anyway, where was I?

It’s the pressure of knowing I HAVE to write – WANT to write

Something.

Anything.

Actually, there’s no pressure at all.

My brain just can’t put the words in order. (No Comments required here thank you very much!)

You know at school, when you had to write an essay for your final exam?

No – what the heck school did you go to!?

Anyway, you read the first line given to start you off (yes we had a “starter line” — deal with it) and BAM! Your mind goes blank. Then you spend the next two hours of the exam thinking ..”ummmmmm.”

So anyway.

Now, where was I going with this?

What was I going to say?

……..

……..

Never mind, I can’t remember anyway!

MAGPIE!!

Love It…Or Not


So, Ikea! Now there is a great way to waste an entire day.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ikea. But sometimes, my visits don’t quite go the way I plan.

We had just moved into our new home. We’d spent the whole weekend in Ikea buying sofas and wardrobes and cushions and cutlery and, …..Swedish meatballs. So, by the time we’d built every flatpack up, we were exhausted.

But we also realised we didn’t have enough wardrobe handles!

Seriously!

So on Monday, after a 10hour day at work, I got in the car, and drove back to Ikea.

Should’ve taken 25minutes, took me 45.
Rush-hour traffic! Now there’s another fun topic which I won’t delve into now.

Eventually, I got there. I knew exactly where the handles were, went to the right department – at least I thought it was. Wardrobe handles with the wardrobes right?

Wrong!

Eventually I found them.
In the Kitchen Area!
Of course? That makes perfect sense!

So I tucked the handles under my arm, put on my determined face, and carefully started the winding journey to the Pay Area.

Now if you’ve ever been to Ikea, You’ll know that there are “secret” doors and paths and shortcuts everywhere!

I couldn’t find my way to the Pay Area.

Eventually after getting back to the Kitchen Area, (where you can pick up wardrobe handles) for the third time, I despaired, sucked it up, and asked 2 staff members for directions.

They clearly saw the desperate look on my pleading face.

And then decided they would toy with me!

They pointed in a direction and said “just through there” I sighed in relief and followed the direction of their point.

They lied.

It was obviously “Annoy-TheFrinkleFiles-Day” and someone forgot to give me the memo.

One hour!

That’s how long it took me to get from tucking the handles under my arm, to the actual checkout points!

And it wasn’t even busy!

And I didnt stop on the way.

You’ve never known lost until you can’t find your way out of an Ikea store.