Picture it. London. Winter 2012. Minus 4C!
It’s so cold that I’ve actually put on….The Winter Coat.
Now don’t get me wrong. I have two coats. One for a ‘normal’ winter. One for a winter like we had today.
You see, we haven’t exactly had the freezing-cold, hat-gloves-scarf-combo, snow, rain, hot chocolate type of winter that I originally moved to this country for!
I did. I really really did! I come from a sunny and warm (read — stinking hot — ) country and never enjoyed the heat, so my plan of moving here so I never had to worry about a) cooling off, b) getting an even-all-over tan, c) carrying enough wetwipes to ‘freshen up’ or d) not having to shave my legs for at least half the year – well this has not exactly been how it’s played out!
Now where was I?
Ah yes, winter coat.
So early in the morning (there’s a song in that) …. I dragged my thick, triple layer (okay, it’s only a double layer) winter coat on.
Zipped myself in and buttoned up. (yes – the coat has both! — I told you — it is The Winter Coat)
Wrapped my wooly scarf around my neck.
Twice.
Put my hat with the ‘cute’ little multicoloured pompom on pulling it down over my ears.
Tugged on my ‘warm-enough-to-build-a-snowman-in-the-north-pole’ gloves.
And shuffled to the front door.
After doing what felt like a Teletubby-shuffle the entire walk to the station (okay so it’s less than a 2minute walk – but still), and starting to feel just a little claustrophobic and …. sweaty …. I finally got onto the platform and managed to launch myself onto the train just as the doors were closing!
Train 0 / TheFrinkleFiles 1
I also managed to grab the infamous ‘Last Seat’.
Train 0 / TheFrinkleFiles 2
The claustrophobia threatened to take over if I didn’t get some of the layers off me.
Immediately!
This was made worse by the fact that the train had the heaters blasting out on full power!
Train 1 / TheFrinkleFiles 2
The location of the heater?
Smack, bang, underneath MY seat!
Train 2 / TheFrinkleFiles 2
So there I was. Dressed like a teletubby. Victory smile (from getting the last seat) being quickly wiped off my face (or sliding off from the sweat!), pulling at my clothes to get them off while getting redder and redder in the face! Attractive – I know!
Train 3 / TheFrinkleFiles 2
The hat came off.
The gloves came off.
The scarf came off.
The jacket came off.
The jersey came off.
My legs were still on fire. But there was no way I was gonna remove them. (The trousers …. not the legs … that would be painful!)
So I gently started moving my legs from side to side in the hope that the swift motion would provide some relief from the branding I was getting.
Train 4 / TheFrinkleFiles 2
It didn’t.
It did however, make the men opposite me and next to me tut with disapproval!
If only they knew that I was being branded, I’m sure they wouldv’e been a little more sympathetic.
Or not!
Ah well, at least I’m hoping the heating pumping out onto my legs gave them that all-over-even-tan I used to long for.
It could happen.
Right?
Note To Self:
There’s ALWAYS a reason why it’s the Last Seat!!
The first saddest thing about this whole experience?
I had to put everything back on before I left the train station!
The second saddest thing about the experience?
The Train won. This time! But I will be back!
Real life stories - with a little bit of colour - to make you giggle 